Random Dionysian Fandom Chick

I've had a week. I have a sneaking suspicion the next one won't be a lot better from that standpoint, though it certainly has the potential of being better in some areas. (The part I'm not quite so encouraged about is the part that would be roll-over from this week.)

I washed out of the writing round of startrekbigbang, and am about to do the same thing with the polybigbang unless the word-fairy helps me out with a miracle today. I really hate that, because to me it means I wasn't on the ball and was procrastination girl and therefore it's my own damn fault. I do that with way too many things.

There are big weeks going on over at whedonland and legendland and in both cases, they snuck up on me and now they're in full swing and I don't feel like I have a good grasp of what's going on, how it works, or what I should be doing. Therefore, when I run across those posts, I feel sort of like you would imagine someone would feel running alongside a train who's steadily increasing it's speed as it leaves the station.

The main reason for that is, quite simply, I've had a bad week. I haven't slept well (by which I mean that I've either fallen asleep before I meant to, and therefore in a weird position and done that thing where you keep waking up just enough to know you need to move, but not enough to *actually* move, or I've fallen asleep ok but woken up incredibly stiff, sore, and tired. It's not unusual, but a week and a half (or more) in a row of it is very draining. And when my energy gets low (it doesn't take a lot, I don't have much to begin with) then I get very muddle-headed. Like VERY muddle-headed. Like, I can't read a paragraph (or sometimes a sentence) without fading out on it and not understanding what's going on or what it's saying. I'm in no way, shape, or form a stupid person, but that level of tired makes me into one, and I really sort of hate it. Caffeine can only do so much, and I have to watch how much of that I have anyway.

In completely other news, I'm now the Secretary for the Board of Whedonites United. There's all sorts of stuff surrounding that giving me stress, but I feel a really strong calling to do more in terms of fandom community organization to help fulfill that side of my job as a priestess to Dionysus. I do a lot of the religious stuff already, but fandom community has been neglected for the last several years.

Oh, and the husband just enrolled (today - well, yesterday, now) in Massage Therapy school. I'm really quite proud of him, and overall am very pleased with this turn of events. We have to meet with the Financial Aid office there next week, and classes start the middle of next month. Hopefully he'll be able to get financial aid and hopefully anything that doesn't cover his family will be willing to help out with. But this should - no, this *WILL* open up a lot of opportunities for him both now and for his (well, our) future. So I'm pleased and hopeful.

Tomorrow (Today) is Rosh Hoshanah, so I'll be busy all day helping kadollan get ready, and cook, and so forth.

 If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.
♥ ♥ ♥

First - how utterly cracktastic is Burn Notice? Daniel Jackson/Six cage match! Giggle! (ok, not exactly, but I'm loving seeing the two of them in this show as... not them.)

Also:

Everyone has someone on their friends list they'd like to remove but just haven't. It might even be me. Here's your chance.

On 15 March 2009 is your chance to rearrange your friends list without remorse or recriminations, the only caveat is that you must post this in a public (screened or unscreened) post so those you unfriend may plead their case to be returned if they feel they've been removed in error. On this day, though, you may remove people and not feel guilty about it.

Have you drifted away from someone? Were you once thick as thieves in one fandom but they no longer will have anything to do with that fandom and you don't talk to them any longer but haven't felt right in removing them? On March 15, go right ahead. Has someone found religion and insists upon sharing but you're an avowed atheist? On March 15, feel free to part ways.

From fahye :


On the theory that we could all use a hearty dose of positive energy and general warm fuzziness while we wait, none too patiently, for better times; that *no* one I know is getting told often enough what a good job they are doing just getting through this crazy, lovely world. Take a second, and mention something you like about me (if such a thing exists) in the comments. Then repost this to your own journal, and have some goodness for yourself.

Because I've been AWOL for about a week.

Other than having to work and being exhausted (I worked Friday and Saturday, had Sunday off, which was Mom's birthday, so I was in Dickson, then had to work M-F 9-5:30 after a week and a half of 10:30-7 shifts) I don't really have much reason why I wasn't online. But I generally came home everyday and crashed, hard. You wouldn't think that that hour and a half difference in schedule would be that big a deal, but yeah, it really is. I like 9-5:30 better, but the transition can be rough. Also, it was the first time in awhile that I'd had 5 days straight. Usually my schedule is more broken up than that. Weird, ne?

Fic Prompts

holde_maid, I have two of yours done:

5 brief, wordless encounters aboard one space-ship of your choice (I picked Battlestar)
and
5 times Harry was playing Quidditch and stopped paying attention to the game

The other one is taking a little longer.

elflore, I have two of yours done:

Five (Greek/Roman) Myths Kara Thrace Never Liked
and
Five Historical Personages To Whom the Doctor Never Dared Introduce Rose (if you read this in the next 5 minutes, there won't be a link there, as I have to finish the update.) Updated.

It's unlikely (as I mentioned over IM) that I'll get the other one (the FS one) written. I hope the other two are sufficient to suffice however! ::huggles::

i_am_girlfriday, I'm still working on yours. It's just taking me a bit, as I haven't watched Roswell in awhile. ::G::

Icons

Apparently I never posted my icons for bsg_challenge's "33" challenge. Doh.

You can find 6 icons and 6 bases for "33" here and 3 icons for "Water" here.

Teasers:

and

( Personal-type stuff )

lithium_doll has hit her 1000 post, and is trying for 1000 comments on said post, and is also offering to make a limited number of mini-vids. She is taking requests, and will then choose about 18 of the suggestions (not the first 18, mind, but out of all of them) to do. She is excellent at the vidding, btw. (If you haven't checked out her stuff, DO! There's Farscape and Firefly and Battlestar and all sorts of other things.) Her post is here. Go play!

I have the BEST. F-LIST. EVER.

Witness the insanity. (Skip the actual post part if you're squeamish about dentists. The fun is in the meme/comments.)

LOVE.

They have kept me grinning, giggling, and generally either driving the people at work mad, making them look at me like I've grown a second head, or asked me what's going on, as I've been so damn bouncy and cheerful. All. Frakking. Day. ::giggles:: ::VBG::

::hugs whole bloody f-list::

Random-ish question regarding "on-line" friends:

Ok, I'm sure that most people will see or hear something (just in the course of an average day) that might make them think of one of their friends, for instance, I might read something about JD Robb and think, "hey, kadollan" (who I live in the same town with, hang out with IRL, etc.) "would be interested in that..." - my question is, is it common for anyone else to think/react the same way in regards to "online" friends that they hardly ever just see and hang out with, or am I just a weirdo/freak?

It's probably a dumb question, but I felt the urge to ask because I find myself doing it *ALL* the damn time. Maybe I just miss hanging out with people that I don't get to see anymore. :(

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In completely other news, no one will go near me with any antidepressants since I was under the care of a psychiatrist previously, despite the fact that I haven't been on anything for several months now and keep trying to tell them that I CAN'T AFFORD TO SEE ANYONE! I worked up the nerve/will power to go to the walk-in clinic at my pcp's office, because the depression is getting *really* really bad. The RNP chicky at the medical clinic (which, btw, DOESN'T take my new insurance) told me she couldn't/wouldn't do anything about it, that I needed to see my psychiatrist, that I could *try* talking to my pcp and we could make an appointment but that since she (my PCP) hadn't been dealing with it previously that she would probably tell me the same thing. I told her (the RNP) that if it wasn't going to help that I couldn't afford the visit with my PCP and refused to make an appointment (because I know my PCP and she *will* just refer me back to my psych.). The RNP wasn't happy with this - actually she was completely baffled and kept looking at me like I was talking to her in another language. (She also kept insisting that the Buspar I'd been on had been an anti depressant - I told her several times that no, it was for anxiety, and that the Zoloft had been for the depression and she didn't believe me. I realize that she's the medical professional and I'm not, but I'm the one that's been ON THE DAMN STUFF FOR 6 YEARS for gods' sake!)

I also checked with my psychiatrist's office (because SOMETHING has to be done - I'm NOT coping at all anymore, with much of anything anymore) - they said that I don't have ANY mental health insurance at all and that it's $90-99 dollars a visit to see Dr. Bodie.

There is some good news though - they actually had an opening for this friday (last time I had to wait 3 weeks to see her), and mom said that she'd pay for the visit. But I'm still not sure how we'll afford the meds or whether or not anyone'll be able to afford for any follow-up visits. Mom's still looking for a job, so money's really tight for them too.

********

Mom doesn't think that I should get married until I have things like my mental health and my coping ability under control and sorted out. So she gets weird if I try to talk about the wedding, but is also kinda weird cause she feels like I'm making all the decisions and things without her - if I say anything about it that's not a direct "And what do you think/suggest about that?" she is intentionally assuming I'm informing, not discussing. Just because I told her that we did know for sure who was *doing* the ceremony, and that harmonylsc was doing the music. I don't think it's that she minds those things that much, just that the decision is already made. But then again, see above, she doesn't think I'm ready to be doing it at all. And in many respects, she's probably right - but I'm always going to be struggling with my mental health. It's not going to away, and will always be a struggle. And no, I can't cope as an adult so far, but my relationship with Brian is one of the *VERY* few things that ever makes me feel safe or ok about myself.

*********

Anyway, I'm in Dickson for a few days while the car gets repaired (the battery is having some problems and we were in a minor accident Monday night where my front end clipped someone else's back end and the headlight and blinker on one side need to be fixed. Also, the oil needs changing.) We're gonna take pictures for the insurance and such. I don't know how long it'll take, but I should probably call and tell them I probably won't be at Imbolc this weekend.

::headdesk::

::pets the new Google desktop thing-a-my:: Pretty! Shiny!

Sorry - had a moment there.

So - work. And more work. Did I mention work?

Actually, I took Tuesday off of work, truth be told. I got across town, was falling asleep at the wheel, and had the overwhelming gut feeling of "don't go today". I don't know if it was my brain rationalizing something, or genuine, but I followed it and went back home. I think it was good for me.

I FINALLY went and got new glasses. (We're gonna be eating mac and cheese and tuna salad for a week, but it had to be done.) No more headaches! (Well, ok, still headaches, but no more constant-all-day-long-oh-my-god-exhausted headaches that I now know were eye-strain. So WOOT!)

Crap. 7:30. Gotta leave.

Quick question... who's reading? I'm not doing any kind of unfriending or anything, just curious about who I'm actually "talking" too.

Love y'all!