all BSG, all the time in my world now...
Aug. 7th, 2006 08:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cybermathwitchActually, not entirely true. I have a random questioning type of thing for everyone, particularly my Fandom-type people. (which, after seeing how long it was, I decided to put at the end. BSG-immediate things first:)
I'm about to go mainline season 2. I think I might need you guys to pray for me. (oh, yeah, this is gonna frakking hurt....)
I have a fic-in-progress based from the Season 3 Trailer that went up yesterday(ish) (you can the non-Nickelback version here and the Nickelback version (my personal fav, cause yay! here.) - anyone wanna beta-read? It's L/K ...
And the rest:
1. Do you address yourself in your journal to different groups of people w/o necessarily limiting the view to that group? Like, do you shout-out to a particular fandom, or your family, or someone individually, without f-locking it to a group or necessarily restricting it from anyone who stops by (as it were)? Mostly wanting reassurance that I'm not quite as much of a freak as I sometimes think I am - which leads me to question...
2. Are we different? Are we, as fen, somehow essentially different (and please note that I don't use the term "better" or "worse" here - no one take offense at this line of questioning please) from other people in they way we look at the world? Or at the very least this part of the world? I mean, I know people who like shows. Or like book series. Maybe they even try to make it home in time to catch and ep, or go out and buy a new book the day it's out. But that's (relatively) surface. What I'm talking about is that feeling in your stomach that's like a flock of butterflies trying to get out, or bubbles trying to burst, that makes you happy and giggly and bouncy inside because you've discovered something.saimhe said something once about how happy Fridays make her. For me, at least, it's a lot like falling in love. The characters have a reality because they matter to us, they "talk" to us (look at the fic, folks! how many people talk about not being able to get a character to "shut up"?), and they influence us.
It's obsession, and it isn't always a comfortable one. Like being in love, you have to take the good and the bad, the wonderfully uplifting with the heartbreaking-ly depressing. I wonder if it isn't something more essential than an intellectual interest. Are we perhaps more apt to throw ourselves into things (many things, not just fannish things) with our whole hearts, rather than guarding ourselves? Are we more willing to embrace the entirety of experience than other people may be? And in this I mean in our whole lives. The more I think about it, the more I think we are. Those of you I know, I know that you tend to do things with your whole heart and soul, even if others think that it may not be such a good idea to do it that way. (I keep thinking back to the last day of any number of Scaper gatherings and how many tears there are - not to mention how many laughs.)
(I didn't start this out to be this deep a thought pattern, but go with me here) I know I'm more comfortable with myself around fen. I'm more comfortable laughing as loudly as I want to or can, I'm more comfortable saying what's on my mind, and I'm more comfortable being hyper when I'm around you guys. I'm more comfortable around you guys than I am around friends that in most ways I'm closer to.
-- to add a religious element here, this is the heart of Dionysian experience for me. Ecstasis and catharsis require that total commitment to the thing.
I'm about to go mainline season 2. I think I might need you guys to pray for me. (oh, yeah, this is gonna frakking hurt....)
I have a fic-in-progress based from the Season 3 Trailer that went up yesterday(ish) (you can the non-Nickelback version here and the Nickelback version (my personal fav, cause yay! here.) - anyone wanna beta-read? It's L/K ...
And the rest:
1. Do you address yourself in your journal to different groups of people w/o necessarily limiting the view to that group? Like, do you shout-out to a particular fandom, or your family, or someone individually, without f-locking it to a group or necessarily restricting it from anyone who stops by (as it were)? Mostly wanting reassurance that I'm not quite as much of a freak as I sometimes think I am - which leads me to question...
2. Are we different? Are we, as fen, somehow essentially different (and please note that I don't use the term "better" or "worse" here - no one take offense at this line of questioning please) from other people in they way we look at the world? Or at the very least this part of the world? I mean, I know people who like shows. Or like book series. Maybe they even try to make it home in time to catch and ep, or go out and buy a new book the day it's out. But that's (relatively) surface. What I'm talking about is that feeling in your stomach that's like a flock of butterflies trying to get out, or bubbles trying to burst, that makes you happy and giggly and bouncy inside because you've discovered something.
saimhe said something once about how happy Fridays make her. For me, at least, it's a lot like falling in love. The characters have a reality because they matter to us, they "talk" to us (look at the fic, folks! how many people talk about not being able to get a character to "shut up"?), and they influence us. It's obsession, and it isn't always a comfortable one. Like being in love, you have to take the good and the bad, the wonderfully uplifting with the heartbreaking-ly depressing. I wonder if it isn't something more essential than an intellectual interest. Are we perhaps more apt to throw ourselves into things (many things, not just fannish things) with our whole hearts, rather than guarding ourselves? Are we more willing to embrace the entirety of experience than other people may be? And in this I mean in our whole lives. The more I think about it, the more I think we are. Those of you I know, I know that you tend to do things with your whole heart and soul, even if others think that it may not be such a good idea to do it that way. (I keep thinking back to the last day of any number of Scaper gatherings and how many tears there are - not to mention how many laughs.)
(I didn't start this out to be this deep a thought pattern, but go with me here) I know I'm more comfortable with myself around fen. I'm more comfortable laughing as loudly as I want to or can, I'm more comfortable saying what's on my mind, and I'm more comfortable being hyper when I'm around you guys. I'm more comfortable around you guys than I am around friends that in most ways I'm closer to.
-- to add a religious element here, this is the heart of Dionysian experience for me. Ecstasis and catharsis require that total commitment to the thing.
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no subject
Date: 2006-08-08 05:43 am (UTC)In response to 2--We are different. My boyfriend teases me about the way I watch TV. I get physical reactions from things--I shake with anticipation, I get jittery, I bawl uncontrollably, etc. I am much more of an active participant than a passive viewer. I question things and research things, etc. I think you're on to something about fen being whole hearted in every aspect of life. I'm kinda this crazy when it comes to food, work, school, etc.
I'm more comfortable dorking out on LJ than I am in real life. Mostly because I think others wouldn't understand--a lot of my friends have never been part of a fandom! :(
The meta made my brain hurt. Must sleep.
P.S. To add to my novel-length comment, I'm praying for you. I mainlined season 1 of BSG after seeing the first half of season 2 and the mini. So out of order! I was already totally emotionally involved with the characters and then going backward just about killed me. Enjoy the pain and suffering. Then you'll have to wait until October just like the rest of us.