12 Days of Ficmas - Day Ten: Unrelated Observations

[cybermathwitch]

Apparently I did my math wrong somewhere, and day twelve will be Christmas Eve, not Christmas Day.   I am made of counting-fail.  ;)  Mayhaps I will come up with a surprise for Christmas Day instead...

Title: Three Unrelated Observations from Kara's Mind, and One from Lee's

Author: Koren M.

Rating: R

'Ship:  Kara/Lee

Disclaimer: Not mine.  They're Ron Moore, David Eick, and the SciFi Channel's

Warnings: Mild sexual content

Spoilers:  Through the first half of season 3

Summary:  Completely unrelated ponderings from Kara (mostly) and Lee.

Notes: Thanks to ez_as_pi  for the beta.

 

Three Unrelated Observations from Kara's Mind, and One from Lee's

 

leather

Flight suits are made of unyielding leather and metal.  They're unforgivingly hot, constrictive, and occasionally claustrophobic.  They're what keep pilots alive out in space, keep them from freezing to death or dying of decompression or from getting bloody scratches all over when a cockpit window gets blown in by a Cylon Raider.

They've saved Kara's life in another way today.  If the leather had been just a little more flexible, a little more giving, Lee might have actually managed to get her suit off of her arms and down her legs enough for him to get inside of her.  If it had been just a little bit looser, he might have actually gotten to her skin and taken her over the edge.  She would've let him.  The Chief would've caught them at a lot more than pulling at buckles and while he probably wouldn't have said anything (because how many times had they caught him and Boomer doing the same thing?), she and Lee would've crossed that last line and that would've been the end of her life as she'd known it.

But the leather is unyielding, and Kara's damn grateful.

 

wet

She was wet.  And not in a fun way.  Kara stood outside the compound they were forced into and let the rain soak through her clothes, her hair, and her skin.  She hated this planet.  She'd had such dreams of earth, of what it would be like, what the lost, legendary thirteenth tribe would be like - and then they got there and they were a bunch of backward, in-fighting, vicious people, no different from the colonists themselves.  At least the Colonials had the excuse of having been the victims of massive genocide and pursuit.

The earthlings most disturbing quality, to Kara, anyway, was that they were remarkably like the Cylons in their faith.

She would never forget the day that she'd been openly laughed at for believing in "fairy stories" or "myths" - the idea that the Gods were just stories and fictions for these people boggled her.

So she stood out in the rain and screamed her displeasure to the gods that she wasn't even sure if inhabited this planet, and wondered what kind of life this was going to be for the baby kicking around in her belly.

In many ways, they'd had more freedoms on New Caprica, even after the Cylon occupation.

But for right now, she was soaked through to the skin, angry, and felt more lost than she had since this whole ugly mess had started.

 

relationships

Kara didn't realize until the worlds ended how many important relationships she really had.  But immediately after - and again later when she found Helo - she thanked all the gods that all those people who were important to her were still alive and with her.

There was Helo, of course, who was her best friend.  Constant, stable, good for the occasional no strings attached frak, good company, better advice - all the qualities someone as frakked up as she was needed in a best friend.

And there was the Old Man, who was the father she'd never gotten to know.  He'd taken her in, taken care of her after Zak died, believed in her, and ultimately forgiven her, not once, but many, many, many times.

And then there was Lee.  Who she wasn't quite sure how to quantify.  He was her friend, her enemy, her brother in arms, her CAG, her superior, her champion, the bane of her existence - the one man she wanted badly enough she couldn't (or wouldn't) let herself have.  The one relationship the gods kept giving her, and then taking away from her... ultimately, just to give it back to her again.

She was a damn lucky woman, in the face of everything.

 

sweet nothings

Kara Thrace isn't really the sweet nothings type of girl.  Which is just as well, because Lee Adama isn't the sweet nothings type of boy.

He was once, when the world was a much less crazy, damaged place.  He can remember whispering nonsense things in Gianne's ear when they were together - things that, even if pressed, he wouldn't be able to formulate now.  It wasn't even the ends of the worlds that caused that change in him.  He's pretty sure - or would be if he let himself think about it too much, too often - that he stopped being the sweet nothings type of boy when he stood on the overlook with Gianne and told her he didn't want anything to do with her or their child.  That he didn't care what she did, but he didn't have the room in his life for a family.  Or the time.  Or the care.

He's pretty sure that that's when he lost that softer side of himself.

But ultimately, that's ok, too.  Because Kara doesn't want a guy that's soft, or caring.  She tried that with Sam, and it blew up in her face.  She needs someone who is going to tell her that she's wrong, or tell her that she's right, and beat it into her if necessary, and maybe, occasionally, to hold on to her to keep her from flying apart.  Lee doesn't even quite regret the choices that he's made through his life that have made him hard, cold, and occasionally cruel - even though in occasional instances when he's not having to be the Major, he's still passionate and full of fire and grace - because they've also turned him into the kind of man Kara needs him to be.

 

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