cybermathwitch | Entries tagged with health

I've had a week. I have a sneaking suspicion the next one won't be a lot better from that standpoint, though it certainly has the potential of being better in some areas. (The part I'm not quite so encouraged about is the part that would be roll-over from this week.)

I washed out of the writing round of

startrekbigbang, and am about to do the same thing with the

polybigbang unless the word-fairy helps me out with a miracle today. I really hate that, because to me it means I wasn't on the ball and was procrastination girl and therefore it's my own damn fault. I do that with way too many things.

There are big weeks going on over at

whedonland and

legendland and in both cases, they snuck up on me and now they're in full swing and I don't feel like I have a good grasp of what's going on, how it works, or what I should be doing. Therefore, when I run across those posts, I feel sort of like you would imagine someone would feel running alongside a train who's steadily increasing it's speed as it leaves the station.

The main reason for that is, quite simply, I've had a bad week. I haven't slept well (by which I mean that I've either fallen asleep before I meant to, and therefore in a weird position and done that thing where you keep waking up just enough to know you need to move, but not enough to *actually* move, or I've fallen asleep ok but woken up incredibly stiff, sore, and tired. It's not unusual, but a week and a half (or more) in a row of it is very draining. And when my energy gets low (it doesn't take a lot, I don't have much to begin with) then I get very muddle-headed. Like VERY muddle-headed. Like, I can't read a paragraph (or sometimes a sentence) without fading out on it and not understanding what's going on or what it's saying. I'm in no way, shape, or form a stupid person, but that level of tired makes me into one, and I really sort of hate it. Caffeine can only do so much, and I have to watch how much of that I have anyway.

In completely other news, I'm now the Secretary for the Board of Whedonites United. There's all sorts of stuff surrounding that giving me stress, but I feel a really strong calling to do more in terms of fandom community organization to help fulfill that side of my job as a priestess to Dionysus. I do a lot of the religious stuff already, but fandom community has been neglected for the last several years.

Oh, and the husband just enrolled (today - well, yesterday, now) in Massage Therapy school. I'm really quite proud of him, and overall am very pleased with this turn of events. We have to meet with the Financial Aid office there next week, and classes start the middle of next month. Hopefully he'll be able to get financial aid and hopefully anything that doesn't cover his family will be willing to help out with. But this should - no, this *WILL* open up a lot of opportunities for him both now and for his (well, our) future. So I'm pleased and hopeful.

Tomorrow (Today) is Rosh Hoshanah, so I'll be busy all day helping

kadollan get ready, and cook, and so forth.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Location: The Burrow

- I finally sat down and got a good look (read: I read an in depth review) at the Palm Pre. Want. Want so hard, omg. Unfortunately, money issues aside, we're with AT&T and don't have a data plan. So it's a no-go there, for now at least. And I don't actually mind waiting around, because I generally prefer not to buy the first gen of new tech in any case. But OMG is it drool-worthy.

- I have discovered that strep throat it kind of awful and I hates it precious. Am glad that antibiotics exist, and that finally, today, it no longer feels like I'm swallowing sharp gravel.

- Joanne Kelly is one of the leads in Warehouse 13. I don't know how I missed this before, but I saw her previously on the Dresden Files and she's one of those actresses that just grabs me no matter what she's in. I am very pleased about this knowledge. :)

- Speaking of shows on Skiffy (now SyFy): TIM MINEAR is working on a reboot of ALIEN NATION. This is... well, I would be terrified if it were someone else heading it, but barring Rockne S O'Bannon himself rewriting things, I'm pretty ok with that choice. I honestly think that he did the best work we got on Angel (I ultimately preferred his writing on that show to Joss Whedon's, though not by a huge margin). According to the article (which is very brief) the series is supposed to be set about 20 years after the crash, so the newcomers will be more integrated (or more separated, depending) with the human society. My biggest hope is that they haven't integrated to the point of moving away from the cultural differences, because that was by far the biggest draw for me of the original series. No matter what though, I'm extremely excited.

Current Mood: excited
Current Location: Home
Current Music: The Philanthropist

Um. Hi.

I haven't been around much.  And I'm not actually 100% sure that this is a change in that particular trend, but ::shrug::.

I want to write things down and record them. I want to keep a running tally of my life, online, and use the materials and tools that I have at my disposal to do so... I'm just not sure *how* to do that.

That's not exactly right. I suppose, in an abstract way, I do know how to do it. I could write you manuals and papers about how all these things work, but I'm not sure how to apply them to my life. What things do I want to record?  How do I want to keep up with them?  Like my physical surroundings, if I had a cut and dried system of where things went and how things should be sorted and what kinds of classificiations and distinctions I should be making, then I could impose some kind of order on things. I'm just not sure what those things are *for me*.

Take ravelry, for instance. I can record what yarns I own, what projects I'm working on, etc. There's also a tagging system, that would allow me to organize and categorize and classify my projects, my queue (projects I want to make someday), and my "favorites" (things I just thing are neat) into categories that are meaningful to me. I know that many people are able to create and use tags in a completely organic way, and that works for them.  I, however, can guarantee you I need a better basic structure than that (because I've *tried* the completely organic thing, and it doesn't work). So I need to decide at the outset that I'm going to mark all my books with a tag "book" and further that I'm going to call science fiction "speculative" and not "sci-fi", "scifi", "science fiction" and "science fic". Because I *WILL* do the later if I'm not properly prepared beforehand.

Then there's the age-old question of "what kind of a planning system do I need to be using?  What do I need to keep track of? I have several little peices and ideas, but I don't know what the picture is yet or even what shape the puzzle is. I know that I need a hard copy, paper calendar I can carry around, that's small and lightweight, and has the months in it with plenty of room to write.  I finally figured out a year or so ago that I "see" and "think" of time in months, so that's the best way for me to see my schedule. Daily pages are *way* too excessive, and weekly pages seldom get used.  I know that I need some kind of contact/address book, and it needs to have both a high-tech component and a low-tech (ie, written on paper) component as well.

Going back to calendars for a moment, while I know I need a paper calendar, I also want/need to use my Google Calendar because that's where many of my events and activities first get posted, and I have several friends calendars I'm linked to.

I have my LJ tags where I want them (I think) but none of my others are that organized. (Also, I feel like I should at some point go back and tag the old LJ entries from the before times when there weren't any tags so that they'll be searchable too.)

Any thoughts/advice/etc would be appreciated.

*****

In completely other news, I'm on Clue 1 of the new Goddess Knits Anniversary Mystery Shawl, and while I can't say that the Knit Picks' Gloss Lace is flipping my switch all that much as a yarn overall, I LOVE the color I'm using (Mango). It's a nice, cheerful orange-y peach that makes me happy when I look at it. Which is a good thing, considering how depressed I've been lately.

I've finished one of two socks for the Hogwarts Sock Swap (5), and I know I need to get cracking on the other one (it's due the 28th).

My swap-ee for the Reducio! swap seemed very pleased with her package, and I'm pretty pleased with the idea/execution of said idea that I came up with.

*****

The House season finale blew me away and left me climbing the walls for next season. I still need to go watch the season finale of Dollhouse, but I really liked "Briar Rose". We're having to wait to watch the last two eps of NCIS because I had to put the Netflix on hold until I can deposit my next check (I was stupid, didn't keep up with my money well enough and accidentally went overdrawn). Castle was lovely, though, and I'm THRILLED BEYOND BELIEF that it's coming back.

I'm both looking forward to, and a bit nervous about the new season of Jon&Kate+8 starting on Monday.

I got a look at the 2009-2010 Upfronts at TV.com and I have to say I'm pretty happy with them. I don't see the House spin-off though? But there's a bloody lot of genre shows, which pleases me to no end. And I've already checked out the pilot ep of Glee and can't wait to see more.

I'm loving the new season of In Plain Sight (Mary/Marshall for the win! though Brandy/Peter are pretty cute, too) and the more I see of Royal Pains the more I want to actually watch it.

*****

I'm reading New Moon right now, and liking it ok. I'm not turning into a rabid fan, but I don't think that it sucks, either.

Speaking of rabid fan-girl-ness, I want more Star Trek OMGOMGOMG. I also loved Wolverine, and was quite pleased with Angels and Demons. The pacing of A&D is much better than it was in The DaVinci Code, I think. I've finally see the original Night at the Museum, and want to see the sequel.  I wouldn't mind seeing Terminator: Salvation in the theatres either, which is kind of weird since I never liked any of the original Terminator movies.  But Christian Bale is lovely. Speaking of lovely, "Australia" was lovely - and Hugh Jackman is ::guhdroolguh::.

*****
WhedonFest is going to eat my brain.  I know it is. And I'm going on a trip the weekend before, and GI Joe comes out somewhere in there.

Oh, and Skin Trade (the new Anita Blake) is out on the 2nd of June.  Want. Badly.

*****
Finally, I got a Nintendo DS for my birthday this month.  My Brain Age is 42 right now, I've cleared all the Basic Sudoku levels, am on World 6 in the New Mario Bros. and am trying to find all the zoo animals in My Sims Kingdom.

Must go to bed...

but I updated my sidebar with a link to my SparkPeople blog, which is entirely

kadollan's fault.

more later when I'm not dead on my feet. Or rather butt, as I'm sitting. Still.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: home
Current Music: none

serendipityxxi's joy over the season (not to mention just about everyone else I know - I hate October. Ok, hate isn't actually the right word.

I dread October.

I love Halloween, and Homecoming, and fall, and leaves and apple-y goodness in baked goods and cider. I love the change of the seasons and the chill in the air and getting to listen to the Pretenders' "Viva El Amor", Tori's "To Venus and Back", the soundtrack from "Once More with Feeling", and Loreena McKennit's "The Visit". (Yes, I have CDs/music that I will only listen to during certain parts of the year. It's a quirk.)

I love new seasons and new shows and new books. I love going back to school (even if I'm not in school anymore - show me the back to school section at walmart and it makes my heart happy) and all those fall things.

But I dread October.

There's this whole Kore/Persephone descent into the Underworld from the Overworld thing going on. But the way it manifests is that I get wound tighter, and tighter, and tighter, and tighter... stressed and strained and manic - until finally I implode, or explode (though normally the former) or fall apart and finally have a good cathartic cry (or several). Then I get better.

Over the years I've discovered that this is a. not a time to change medications (especially in regards to my anxiety disorder), take on high-pressure projects, or additional responsibilities. My resources are at their lowest and I need to turn in, hide, hibernate, go away. Something. If I'm going to have a nervous break down (and oh, say, quit my job - see last year) it's going to happen in October.

Last night I had the beginnings of a sore throat when I went to bed. I woke up this morning with sinus-y stuff, the sniffles, lightheaded, tired, and now I'm running a fever of 100 degrees. I the honorary Sebacean, have been wearing a sweatshirt over a long-sleeved shirt all day (even while working at a hot stove over a soup pot) and haven't been too warm. ::shivers::

I don't have the days to take off work anymore. So I have to go sick.

::headdesk::

It's October.

</end self-pity rant>

Current Mood: sick

So I'm actively avoiding making icons for

bsg_challenge and posting instead. After avoiding posting all day. 'Cause I make sense. Sure.

( trip to my dentist - things you didn't want to know: )

And I missed work today because I was running late, and since I had to leave early yesterday for the dental appt. I was better off missing an entire day than clocking in 2 minutes late. Because that makes sense. Stupid policies. But since I was in desperate need for lots of sleep and have been running a fever of about 99 (give or take a point or eight) it works out just as well.

finally, meme, because I need cheering up (snurched from

comedownstairs):

Leave a list of fictional characters in your journal that you would love to get a message from. It is readers mission, should they choose to accept it, to write you an in-character "letter" from a character on that list. The message can be anything, it could be a love note or even fandom related etc. Feel free to comment on each other's letters. And multiple takes on one character are welcome.

1. Kara Thrace
2. Lee Adama
3. Sharon "Boomer" Valerii (the original)
4. Helo
6. John Crichton
7. Aeryn Sun
8. Vala
9. Daniel Jackson
10. Tenth Doctor
11. Rose Tyler
12. Jack Harkness
13. Tempe Brennan
14. Angela Montenegro
15. Josh Lyman
16. Sam Seaborn
17. Donna Moss
18. CJ Cregg
19. Kaylee Frye
20. Inara Serra
21. Mal Reynolds
22. River Tam
23. Tara (BTVS)

I'm gonna go paint Warhammer models.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Location: home

Dear body,

It is incredibly counterproductive to react to hunger with nausea. If you are needing food, well, making me feel sick to my stomach is probably *not* going to get you what you want, as it induces an extreme aversion to eating, rather than encouraging it. So if you want your blood sugar and potassium levels to go back up anytime today, knock it off.

Love,

Koren

::goes off to try and choke down pb&j and a glass of milk before work::

Update: got the pb&j down, and half the milk. But it was enough to get me through the morning.

Current Mood: nauseated
Current Location: home
Current Music: none

Have switched back to the plain-text editor. Except for posting graphics (which is a pain in the ass w/o the rich text editor to do the cartwheels for you) I'm happier hand-coding the damn thing. Then I'm less likely to get to the published version and go "wftwhere'dhalfmypostgo?" when the code blows up. Also? Easier by far to back-track and fix it. It's kind of like the first time I looked at the raw source after I made a page in Dreamweaver and went "eh?" because it looked nothing like our earth html. Really.

(All that said, it's been so long since I've used it that I have to rely pretty heavily on a crutch for my memory. But that's what WebMonkey is for.)

Am having fic-y troubles. Minor S3 speculation, so I'm ( cutting )

I should probably rewatch several eps of the show, but there's just no *time* to do that right now. Am stuck working the 10:30-7pm shift at work all week (which I bloody hate) which cuts down on my time once I get home. Or feels like it does, at least. And since I have to leave the house at about 9:30-9:45am to get to work, I don't really have that much extra time in the morning.

Random non-sequitor, but they put me back on anti-depressants. We're trying prozac this time, which I haven't been on since I had a nervous breakdown at 13. Back then it screwed up my cycles, but my MD felt that it would be worth trying again. So far... well, I'm certainly not as depressed as I was a month ago. I'm not as depressed as I was two weeks ago. But since I only started the prozac four days ago, I don't think that's responsible. (I do however, think it's responsible for me having much more energy the last few days. It's sort of the hyper-manic kind of energy, but it helps me get things done.) I think that the fact that my depression slacked off about the time I found BSG (and more importantly found the *fandom* surrounding BSG) is a factor that should not be ignored.

The MD agreed with me, though, that it's unlikely I'll ever be able to be off meds completely. Much reduced, certainly, but there's a pretty significant biological basis to a lot of my crazy.

kadollan once likened it in some ways to diabetes, in that your body doesn't do what it's supposed to, it effects your health, so you take what you need to help it. Some people can manage diabetes with diet and excercise, but others can't. It's a matter of degree.

(Total side note of geeky squeeage: Writely will not only let me publish directly into my journal from the site, but it will also act as an html editor and let me switch back and forth between rich text, html code, and web preview views. I'm in sooooooo much love right now.)

Also? Reg is now open to anyone - no invites needed. So go play!

Current Mood: kinda manic
Current Location: home
Current Music: "Balance of Terror" - Star Trek

I'm so far behind this morning. Crap. I blame it partially on the stupid stomach bug I think I had yesterday. :oP I didn't get this done last night like I meant to. I'm updating the link in the previous post, but am also going ahead and linking it here to save people from having to back up on their f-lists.

So, here be ICONS. Please take a look and feedback=love.

ez_as_pi is my hero. She has scanned the ~~Pilots!~~ BSG Skiffy magazine article here. (The article is SPOILER-Y, so you've been warned.) She has also scanned in the Maxim BSG photo shoot, but has requested it not be reposted so I haven't linked to it. But yay!

Must go to work. Blech.

Current Mood: sick

Firstly, I have Writely invites if anyone wants one. Writely isn't a blog, it's an online wordprocessing program that allows users to create, edit, and collaborate on documents online. You can upload, download, store, and email documents via the program, and it has a pretty flexible formatting system (you can do most types of text-effects, sizes, fonts, etc that you could do in Word or a similar program, and it will export in most of the major file formats, including Word and Open Office.) Google has joined the site as a partner and registration is technically closed down while they fiddle with it, but you can still get in via invites. It is particularly useful for group projects or for writing and beta-reading fic. (Which would be why I joined up.)

Secondly, I have completely redone my journal - title, color scheme, the lot of it. Instead of going with one of the pre-made colourways I made my own from a picture of a stormfront off of Flickr. I used Pixie to pin down the html color codes in parts of the picture, then applied them to the Smooth Sailing style in LJ. I didn't actually use a photo in the design, because I haven't re-installed my Picture Publisher 8 yet. But I like it very, very much the way it is. I managed to get the colors and contrasts that appeal to me so much in a storm-threatened sky. I'm sure just about everyone reads my journal via their f-list, but if you happen to meander on over to the journal proper, I'd love to know what you think.

Thirdly, I'm on my way to a doctor's appointment to have a stress test. I'm not sure how it'll go - it depends on if they want me to walk or run, and if they want me to run, how long it's for, because of my asthma. But I'm hoping I'll be able to do it w/o them having to schedule a nuclear one. What I'm hoping for, if anyone wants to throw prayers or energy this way, is that either a. everything will show up ok BECAUSE IT REALLY IS OK, or b. they'll see what's actually going on if there's something wrong. I'm emphasizing that first part because I don't want it to look like it's fine and then not be.

Current Mood: nervous
Current Location: home
Current Music: none

There's nothing like the ER the first thing in the morning. And I hope to all my gods that I'm never in a situation where I *need* to take nitrostat again.

See, I woke up this morning (ok, 4am) with some pain in my chest and my left arm. Which, yeah, I'm 25 and it was probably just gas and muscle stuff but when you have a panic attack because of the possibility of a heart attack and your chest tightens up and you start shaking and, oh yeah, your BP goes through the roof, you go to the ER anyway. They said that they didn't see anything cardiac, but that my BP was really, really high (low 200's over uppermid 100's). They did an EKG, drew blood, gave me nitrostat to get my bloodpressure down (which down it did go - it bottomed out, I may have passed out, though maybe I just felt awful enough I wanted to at that point? Actually I don't think that I passed out, I think I just couldn't move for a few minutes there. It was scary, but my mom was there.) Then they gave me fluids and did a chest xray. The lab work came back ok, so the MD (who I really liked - a rarity for me) said that best they could tell it was muscular and anxiety, but b/c of the bp that he wanted me to go to my doctor as soon as I could and have her do stress tests and so forth to check on everything, then he gave me something for the anxiety through my drip and sent me home.

The collision center is supposed to put the missing part in this morning so we can then take the car to Randal's for an oil change and to get the battery fixed. I hope. I'm not sure if I can drive this evening or if I'll have to wait til tomorrow.

I miss my Brian. :( Especially this morning, though it was good to have my mom there with me.

Current Mood: washed out
Current Music: none

Random-ish question regarding "on-line" friends:

Ok, I'm sure that most people will see or hear something (just in the course of an average day) that might make them think of one of their friends, for instance, I might read something about JD Robb and think, "hey,

kadollan" (who I live in the same town with, hang out with IRL, etc.) "would be interested in that..." - my question is, is it common for anyone else to think/react the same way in regards to "online" friends that they hardly ever just see and hang out with, or am I just a weirdo/freak?

It's probably a dumb question, but I felt the urge to ask because I find myself doing it *ALL* the damn time. Maybe I just miss hanging out with people that I don't get to see anymore. :(

*********

In completely other news, no one will go near me with any antidepressants since I was under the care of a psychiatrist previously, despite the fact that I haven't been on anything for several months now and keep trying to tell them that I CAN'T AFFORD TO SEE ANYONE! I worked up the nerve/will power to go to the walk-in clinic at my pcp's office, because the depression is getting *really* really bad. The RNP chicky at the medical clinic (which, btw, DOESN'T take my new insurance) told me she couldn't/wouldn't do anything about it, that I needed to see my psychiatrist, that I could *try* talking to my pcp and we could make an appointment but that since she (my PCP) hadn't been dealing with it previously that she would probably tell me the same thing. I told her (the RNP) that if it wasn't going to help that I couldn't afford the visit with my PCP and refused to make an appointment (because I know my PCP and she *will* just refer me back to my psych.). The RNP wasn't happy with this - actually she was completely baffled and kept looking at me like I was talking to her in another language. (She also kept insisting that the Buspar I'd been on had been an anti depressant - I told her several times that no, it was for anxiety, and that the Zoloft had been for the depression and she didn't believe me. I realize that she's the medical professional and I'm not, but I'm the one that's been ON THE DAMN STUFF FOR 6 YEARS for gods' sake!)

I also checked with my psychiatrist's office (because SOMETHING has to be done - I'm NOT coping at all anymore, with much of anything anymore) - they said that I don't have ANY mental health insurance at all and that it's $90-99 dollars a visit to see Dr. Bodie.

There is some good news though - they actually had an opening for this friday (last time I had to wait 3 weeks to see her), and mom said that she'd pay for the visit. But I'm still not sure how we'll afford the meds or whether or not anyone'll be able to afford for any follow-up visits. Mom's still looking for a job, so money's really tight for them too.

********

Mom doesn't think that I should get married until I have things like my mental health and my coping ability under control and sorted out. So she gets weird if I try to talk about the wedding, but is also kinda weird cause she feels like I'm making all the decisions and things without her - if I say anything about it that's not a direct "And what do you think/suggest about that?" she is intentionally assuming I'm informing, not discussing. Just because I told her that we did know for sure who was *doing* the ceremony, and that

harmonylsc was doing the music. I don't think it's that she minds those things that much, just that the decision is already made. But then again, see above, she doesn't think I'm ready to be doing it at all. And in many respects, she's probably right - but I'm always going to be struggling with my mental health. It's not going to away, and will always be a struggle. And no, I can't cope as an adult so far, but my relationship with Brian is one of the *VERY* few things that ever makes me feel safe or ok about myself.

*********

Anyway, I'm in Dickson for a few days while the car gets repaired (the battery is having some problems and we were in a minor accident Monday night where my front end clipped someone else's back end and the headlight and blinker on one side need to be fixed. Also, the oil needs changing.) We're gonna take pictures for the insurance and such. I don't know how long it'll take, but I should probably call and tell them I probably won't be at Imbolc this weekend.

::headdesk::

Current Mood: angry
Current Music: Iron Chef - Battle Tomato

How do I love voice-mail - oh, let me count the ways...

Dipshit that I can occasionally be, I managed to lose my cel-phone *right* before I left for my mother's house (it's in our apartment somewhere, so it's not irretrievably lost or anything, but Brian had to be somewhere and if he (or I, for that matter) had had to go *back* into that apartment at that point we would have hurt someone. Gah!) Since I've got at least one job application I'm waiting to hear back on, and I'm going to be in Dickson for 5 (well, 4 now) days, this was a complication. Luckily? I can access my voicemail from any phone, any place, any time. This makes me happy.

Other things that make me happy?

206_bones (Now I just need more userpic slots...)

Things that make me less happy? The tooth that I knocked out in a bicycle accident when I was 9, that they'd managed to put back in? Apparently is starting to break down. So I get to go find an "endodontist"(spelling?) and find out what my options are for a new one. But that's why it's been ouchy. Which, I suppose, is both better and worse than an infection, depending on how you look at things. But *SO* not something I wanted to have to try to deal with right now.

But hey, at least it got me out of the dreaded teenage rite of braces. And 16 years is really not so bad all-in-all, since the original estimation was I'd keep it for about 7.

Current Mood: groggy

::hugs LJ for their Christmas present to us::

I have some of my pics back!

Added an entry to

thingsofstring about christmas crafts and holiday guilt, btw.

So this afternoon I did something kinda amazing.

I sat and read a (rather complex) fantasy novel for over a chapter and followed it, without having to reread (much). Now I'm actually posting in my LJ.

I think I know what caused this: I had not one but *two* kinds of caffeinated tea at lunch today. (My mom and my cousin and aunt and I went to the Tea Room for lunch. There was a yummy complementary Orange/Cranberry spice iced-tea and I tried a Rose Earl Grey tea (hot).)

It makes sense, really. IF I do in fact have ADD, which has long been suspected, then stimulants would cause clearer thinking/concentration, etc. It seems like an easy fix - if you want to think and function better, have caffeine. But the thing is, that I have acid reflux, and I also have anxiety disorder. I know from previous experience that my system DOES NOT like stimulants. They can make me physically and mentally ill.

Conundrum, huh?

Maybe I should try having a few cups of tea a day?

Current Mood: worried
Current Music: A&E's "Cold Case Files"

The best analogy I've got right now is that I have about a hundred different puzzles. Some of them are over a 1000 pieces, while others are only 5. Most are probably about 500 or so - average, the kind everyone works now and again. Sometimes, they're 3D puzzles. Or maybe there are Legos thrown in there too (with a few of the Kubrick mini-figs thrown in, just to confuse things.

I love puzzles. But there's a little problem here.

The boxes they came in? They're gone. Some of the peices are broken, or ruined, or missing. The remaining peices are in bags, boxes, drawers, and cabinets, or just scattered on the floor to be tripped over and stepped on. Some of them are on the computer, scattered across harddrives and disks and the 'net.

I want to work the puzzles, to put them together and decoupage them with mod-podge and frame them and put them on the wall. I'm just not sure HOW. Where to start, what to do, or how to go about it. All the flat surfaces are covered with the bags and boxes of said peices - so's the middle of the floor. (And the edges. And the corners.)

So, ok, they're not really puzzle peices, they're my stuff, and other aspects of my life, but the problem is still the same.

And now we're seriously considering moving into the duplex with my about-to-be mother-in-law and some other friends, which could be really good for us, financially and in other respects. But I hate to take this mess there too... just like I've moved it from my first apartment, to my parents where it got a little worse, to Beck's where it got even more out of order, to this apartment where it got worse still.

Logically I know all the various methods to organizing, I've read the books and the sites and have even watched people do it and have even done it myself. It's just not working now... partially because there's simply NOT space to organize and sort things, and partially because I quite simply just can't make myself get up and do it.

Yeah. That about sums it up.

Current Mood: overwhelmed
Current Music: O Holy Night by Tevin Campbell via Pandora

::pets the new Google desktop thing-a-my:: Pretty! Shiny!

Sorry - had a moment there.

So - work. And more work. Did I mention work?

Actually, I took Tuesday off of work, truth be told. I got across town, was falling asleep at the wheel, and had the overwhelming gut feeling of "don't go today". I don't know if it was my brain rationalizing something, or genuine, but I followed it and went back home. I think it was good for me.

I FINALLY went and got new glasses. (We're gonna be eating mac and cheese and tuna salad for a week, but it had to be done.) No more headaches! (Well, ok, still headaches, but no more constant-all-day-long-oh-my-god-exhausted headaches that I now know were eye-strain. So WOOT!)

Crap. 7:30. Gotta leave.

Quick question... who's reading? I'm not doing any kind of unfriending or anything, just curious about who I'm actually "talking" too.

Love y'all!

Current Mood: Time for Work!

The universe is - well not *against* me, but is a little trying this weekend.

I took yesterday off, originally so I could go do a job interview, but the more I thought about the offer, the more suspicious I was of it (one of those sales/commission/insurance things - and I HATE sales), so I ended up not going. I needed the break though. I think it was good for me. I even ended up going to

kadollan,

dirocyn, and

unforgrettable's house for D&D. (Well, I did japanese/study stuff while they played D&D, but still.)

I have a migraine. I've had a migraine just about every day for a month. So I'm going to the walk-in-clinic at my MD's and see if they'll give me something for it. And see if I can *FINALLY* get my blood pressure meds refilled. It's been 5-fuckin'-months and still nothing. Because that's almost certainly attributing to my migraines.

I found nifty links, but since I have to go to the doctor's I'll post them later.

Oh, and

tnbella and

jessofthebugs - GO TO Virtual ScaperCon. Cause dude - it's ScaperCon weekend, dammit!