cybermathwitch | (no subject)

Have switched back to the plain-text editor. Except for posting graphics (which is a pain in the ass w/o the rich text editor to do the cartwheels for you) I'm happier hand-coding the damn thing. Then I'm less likely to get to the published version and go "wftwhere'dhalfmypostgo?" when the code blows up. Also? Easier by far to back-track and fix it. It's kind of like the first time I looked at the raw source after I made a page in Dreamweaver and went "eh?" because it looked nothing like our earth html. Really.

(All that said, it's been so long since I've used it that I have to rely pretty heavily on a crutch for my memory. But that's what WebMonkey is for.)

Am having fic-y troubles. Minor S3 speculation, so I'm cutting.

Ok. I opened up a muuuuuuuuuch bigger can of worms than I thought I was going to when I started this.

Things I've come to realize I have to do/explain:

1. What Leoben (and the Cylons) want with Kara.
2. What happened between Kara and Anders.
3. What happened between Kara and Lee.

On *top* of explaining/showing Kara interacting with Eris, and Lee interacting with Kara and Eris.

Other problems I'm having:

1. POV. Shifts like crazy. I can't show what Harvey!Kara is saying to Leoben from Kara!View. I can't show what Kara's thinking/feeling in Leoben!View. Having two Kara's in the room at one time is just damn problematic - especially when one of them is being voiced by Tricia Helfer half the time.

2. I'm not sure how Kara's gonna react back on Galactica. And I'm not sure how Galactica is gonna react to Eris.

I should probably rewatch several eps of the show, but there's just no *time* to do that right now. Am stuck working the 10:30-7pm shift at work all week (which I bloody hate) which cuts down on my time once I get home. Or feels like it does, at least. And since I have to leave the house at about 9:30-9:45am to get to work, I don't really have that much extra time in the morning.

Random non-sequitor, but they put me back on anti-depressants. We're trying prozac this time, which I haven't been on since I had a nervous breakdown at 13. Back then it screwed up my cycles, but my MD felt that it would be worth trying again. So far... well, I'm certainly not as depressed as I was a month ago. I'm not as depressed as I was two weeks ago. But since I only started the prozac four days ago, I don't think that's responsible. (I do however, think it's responsible for me having much more energy the last few days. It's sort of the hyper-manic kind of energy, but it helps me get things done.) I think that the fact that my depression slacked off about the time I found BSG (and more importantly found the *fandom* surrounding BSG) is a factor that should not be ignored.

The MD agreed with me, though, that it's unlikely I'll ever be able to be off meds completely. Much reduced, certainly, but there's a pretty significant biological basis to a lot of my crazy.

kadollan once likened it in some ways to diabetes, in that your body doesn't do what it's supposed to, it effects your health, so you take what you need to help it. Some people can manage diabetes with diet and excercise, but others can't. It's a matter of degree.

(Total side note of geeky squeeage: Writely will not only let me publish directly into my journal from the site, but it will also act as an html editor and let me switch back and forth between rich text, html code, and web preview views. I'm in sooooooo much love right now.)

Also? Reg is now open to anyone - no invites needed. So go play!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Me, right now I think I'd liken the meds to manageable debt...some of us will probably always have loans to pay back, but if we can do so in manageable doses and it allows us to live our lives, heck, why not?

(Of course, this could just be the fact that I spent today working out how many school loans I need to take out to quit my job and be in school full time starting in a week. *snerk*)

maybe kinda?

snerk.

I'm really proud of you, btw. ::huggles::

Thanks. :?) *Huggles!*

*scrolls past possible spoilers* :)

I'm reading your post and I'm thinking I have no idea what depression really feels like, even though sometimes i say i feel depressed because I don't feel like doing anything or there's nothing that can make me feel better or happier.

Diabetes I luckily don't have, except sometimes I have these odd times in a day where I really need to eat something or i'll pass out (even though I've eaten normally that day) but bloodtests showed I'm a healthy person... i still think my body doesn't always do what it's supposed to do.

Depression feels like - well, sometimes, like "nothing", really. Or rather you feel like you feel nothing. You can't get excited about anything, you don't want to do anything, or you don't have the willpower to really do anything. It's hard to concentrate and you just don't care. Other times, well, it's like crushing sadness, hopelessness, etc. And there are other physical ramifications, physical pain that goes along with it. My problem is actually (kind of) mild manic depression, but it's compounded by anxiety disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder. The seasons effect it to. And that may be more than you really wanted to know. ;)

One thing that I do that's a little weird, is many people tend to use things like books or shows or movies as "escapism" when they're depressed. I do the opposite. I know I'm spiralling back down when I'm *not* into something like that.

I think if I would feel depressed I wouldn't even want to watch something or read something cause what's the point anyway (but that';s just me) and nah, it's not more than i wanted to know, i asked didn't i? :)

So i think i feel depressed sometimes, but it'll just be a day or so...

Everybody does. Like most things, it's when it gets out of control that it becomes a problem.

How's the leg, btw? ::hugs:: I hope it gets better soon.

Stiff again *sigh* but I can move with it and such... just try to explain to a cat that it frakking hurts when she jumps up on your leg, and then proceeds to sleep on it x.x

My sister didn't seem to notice though, when she just now unexpectedly turned up here for god knows what reason (she complains I keep the door on chain lock when I'm at home, and then she can unlock the door but not open it) but i think i'll e-mail mom and dad anyway to tell them i'm allright.