Random-ish question regarding "on-line" friends:
Ok, I'm sure that most people will see or hear something (just in the course of an average day) that might make them think of one of their friends, for instance, I might read something about JD Robb and think, "hey, kadollan
" (who I live in the same town with, hang out with IRL, etc.) "would be interested in that..." - my question is, is it common for anyone else to think/react the same way in regards to "online" friends that they hardly ever just see and hang out with, or am I just a weirdo/freak?
It's probably a dumb question, but I felt the urge to ask because I find myself doing it *ALL* the damn time. Maybe I just miss hanging out with people that I don't get to see anymore. :(
In completely other news, no one will go near me with any antidepressants since I was under the care of a psychiatrist previously, despite the fact that I haven't been on anything for several months now and keep trying to tell them that I CAN'T AFFORD TO SEE ANYONE! I worked up the nerve/will power to go to the walk-in clinic at my pcp's office, because the depression is getting *really* really bad. The RNP chicky at the medical clinic (which, btw, DOESN'T take my new insurance) told me she couldn't/wouldn't do anything about it, that I needed to see my psychiatrist, that I could *try* talking to my pcp and we could make an appointment but that since she (my PCP) hadn't been dealing with it previously that she would probably tell me the same thing. I told her (the RNP) that if it wasn't going to help that I couldn't afford the visit with my PCP and refused to make an appointment (because I know my PCP and she *will* just refer me back to my psych.). The RNP wasn't happy with this - actually she was completely baffled and kept looking at me like I was talking to her in another language. (She also kept insisting that the Buspar I'd been on had been an anti depressant - I told her several times that no, it was for anxiety, and that the Zoloft had been for the depression and she didn't believe me. I realize that she's the medical professional and I'm not, but I'm the one that's been ON THE DAMN STUFF FOR 6 YEARS for gods' sake!)
I also checked with my psychiatrist's office (because SOMETHING has to be done - I'm NOT coping at all anymore, with much of anything anymore) - they said that I don't have ANY mental health insurance at all and that it's $90-99 dollars a visit to see Dr. Bodie.
There is some good news though - they actually had an opening for this friday (last time I had to wait 3 weeks to see her), and mom said that she'd pay for the visit. But I'm still not sure how we'll afford the meds or whether or not anyone'll be able to afford for any follow-up visits. Mom's still looking for a job, so money's really tight for them too.
Mom doesn't think that I should get married until I have things like my mental health and my coping ability under control and sorted out. So she gets weird if I try to talk about the wedding, but is also kinda weird cause she feels like I'm making all the decisions and things without her - if I say anything about it that's not a direct "And what do you think/suggest about that?" she is intentionally assuming I'm informing, not discussing. Just because I told her that we did know for sure who was *doing* the ceremony, and that harmonylsc
was doing the music. I don't think it's that she minds those things that much, just that the decision is already made. But then again, see above, she doesn't think I'm ready to be doing it at all. And in many respects, she's probably right - but I'm always going to be struggling with my mental health. It's not going to away, and will always be a struggle. And no, I can't cope as an adult so far, but my relationship with Brian is one of the *VERY* few things that ever makes me feel safe or ok about myself.
Anyway, I'm in Dickson for a few days while the car gets repaired (the battery is having some problems and we were in a minor accident Monday night where my front end clipped someone else's back end and the headlight and blinker on one side need to be fixed. Also, the oil needs changing.) We're gonna take pictures for the insurance and such. I don't know how long it'll take, but I should probably call and tell them I probably won't be at Imbolc this weekend.